MommyTime

Ok, so you find out you are the proud parent of a child with Autism. And you think you are doing good getting life on the roll each day. But you take your kids to the grocery with you, when your bundle of joy starts going berserk, and you see the people whispering pointing and saying rude stuff about yourself and your children.

You look embarrassed, and try to hush them. But it doesn’t work because they want a specific sucker in a multi-pack of candy. So you walk quickly away mumbling to yourself.

The next trip you take, same situation. But then you look at the person and say, “don’t judge a book by its cover, you don’t know my kids or my situation.” And then storm off.

The trip after that. You get the bag of candy. You get the sucker out and give it to your screaming child. And then total silence and people don’t look at you.

But in every scenerio there seems to be a factor that never changes. Your more worried about what others are thinking of you as a parent. When in reality, you need to be worried about what is in the best interest of your child.

Who cares what others think. Do they get the pleasure of walking in the door of your home with your children? Do they get to figure out what your kids are trying to say? Do they get the pleasure of calming a meltdown when they are at the point of breaking down mentally?

No they don’t.

As a parent of an child with autism, you will discover, people in the outside world will get little understanding and empathy from you.

Why?

Honestly, you use all your energy on your children. You don’t notice how you have an attitude towards what people say. Or how you just don’t even care because your trying to figure out if you can find something new to try to feed your child. Or because your worried about what your doing wrong.

When my daughter was 2 she was walking, crawling, and climbing. What she wasn’t doing was babbling, or even trying to. All she did was run around and scream so loud you would think astronauts could hear her.

When I took her to the doctor with her brother she darted through the records room past all of the staff after throwing a fit and screaming in the room. The nurses saw my apologetic worried look as I chased her so embarrassed that I had to go through areas no one is supposed to go in. I apologized almost crying, when a nurse walked up to me and asked my daughter’s name and if she was being seen that day. I stated she was not, that this was her brothers appointment, she patted my back and said ok.

My son whom used to act the same way as my daughter is well known in the office. So the nurse found the doctor and the next thing I knew there was a knock on the door.

“Hey Mom, let’s see what we can do for this little rascal while your here”, a sweet voice said while I was trying to stop my daughter from screaming frantically.

“I am so sorry she is being so loud, I do not understand why she does this”, I replied.

“Does she do this at home?” The nurse asked.

In shock and embarrassed, I hesitated to respond. “Yes, and she doesn’t speak. She screams about everything.”

The nurse looked at me so empathetically and said, “Don’t you worry Mom, I am here to help you while we get her in the system to be seen at the same time as her big Brother. Do you need a moment to gather yourself? You look very distraught.”

She had crayons and paper that my daughter began throwing through the room and screaming. “Mom, go take a walk for a few. Me and her brother will be right here when you come back.”

I walked to the bathroom and wiped my tears. And then began to cry. I am always the person who is with my children, the person who has no help because even their dad can’t handle them. This was the first time in either of their lives I got a couple moments to myself.

When I walked back in to the room my daughter was yelling at the nurse and the nurse was smiling. SMILING. I was confused.

“The doctor came in and evaluated the situation. Your son is in good shape. Seems to be doing well on his medication. If you have any questions ask the doctor.” She then looked at my daughter, then back to me. “As for this little one, the Doctor has reasons to believe she is on the high end of the spectrum. He is getting the referal forms for you to take her to Children’s Autism Group.”

Needless to say after the months of waiting. I got her seen at children’s. After the multiple evaluations, they declares she is full blown Autistic and may never speak.

My son started talking when he was 5. So when my daughter turned 5 it was not too big a shock when she said, “Mommy look Cat.” I will never forget those words!

She still screams and whines and cries. But now with the understanding of Autism, I get it’s because she couldn’t communicate. And now I don’t get so frustrated.

Please share a story, because when you find out. It’s always a shock. How did you handle it?

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton